In 2012, I received 3 children through Foster Care. At the time, my oldest son was almost 3, my daughter was 19 months, and my youngest son was 8 months (we officially adopted them last year). The first 6 months were absolute chaos. My oldest son could not talk and was not potty trained. The children had no structure in their father's house. I don't think they had ever even eaten a vegetable. Brennan's threes were rough all the way around. We had to teach him to talk, to use the potty, to understand the word, "No", to eat vegetables, to go to bed at night, and we were dealing with undiagnosed conditions like ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder, and Impulse Control Disorder. To say Brennan's threes were hard would be the understatement of the century.
Summer's threes weren't too bad. The only obstacle was getting her potty trained, and that wasn't too bad. She's actually more of a handful at 4 because she has learned to lie and she's too lazy to stop playing and go to the potty, so she pees in her pants just about every day now.
Jordan was only 8-months old when he came into my home. He was very small for his age (he wore 3-month old clothes), but other than that, he has been developing normally. Jordan's twos were exciting. His vocabulary was expanding greatly, he was funny and loving. He was absolutely adorable. You could really see his personality developing. And then he turned 3 and that adorable little boy has become Jekyl and Hyde.
Some days he is sweet, funny, loving, and everything you would want in a little boy. Some days my little boy turns into this defiant little demon who tests me on everything I say. His favorite responses these days are, "Why?", "I do it myself", "I don't want to", and "No."
Every decision is a game. Jordan, "What do you want for breakfast?"
Jordan replies, "I want donuts."
I say, "We don't have any donuts. How about a pop tart?"
Jordan says, "No! I don't want pop tarts! Mommy, I told you I want donuts!"
I repeat, "We don't have any donuts."
Jordan asks, "Why?"
I reply, "Because you ate them all. You have to have something else for breakfast. You can have a pop tart, a banana, a nutri-grain bar, or cereal. What do you want?"
Jordan says, "I want donuts."
We are currently in the process of trying to learn to use the potty. Some days he will use the potty multiple times a day. Some days, he won't go at all and pees and poops in his pull-ups. I've tried rewards like stickers and treats. Sometimes he will try and poop on the potty for a treat and a chance to play on my iPhone while sitting on the potty. Sometimes he just tells me he needs to go potty so he can play with my iPhone. The funny thing is, if we are out doing things he will usually use the potty, but if we are home, he goes in his pull-ups.
When he does poop in his pull-ups, I can usually smell it. I will ask, "Jordan, why did you poop in your pants? You could have gone on the potty and get a treat."
He always says, "I sorry Mommy."
When he does go in his pull-ups at home, changing his bottom also becomes a game.
I say, "Jordan, let's go change your butt."
He runs down the hallway and disappears. He hides under the bed. He will stick an arm or leg out so I can try and grab him, then he will pull said appendage back under the bed and giggle like a hyena. I can't fit under the bed and he knows it. This game continues until I threaten him with time out or other punishments. Then he will relent.
Trying to get dressed in the morning or put pajamas on at bedtime also becomes a game. If I tell him to change his clothes (which he can do himself with just minor help from me), he will always reply, "I can't do it by myself." At which time, depending on my level of frustration, I either dress him myself, or threaten him with punishments to get him to try and do it himself.
Washing his face is always a game. If I come near him with a washcloth or a wipe, he starts bobbing and weaving. I have to pin him down on the bed or couch and hold his arms while he giggles.
He loves to take a bath, but he doesn't like you to pour water on his head. He will say, "Don't pour water on my head or I'll cry like a baby." Most of the time, he his honest to his word. He cries like a baby and pulls away from you while you try to wash or rinse his head or face.
When he starts doing something he knows he isn't supposed to do, he will often look at me with a gleam in his eye and then start to do it anyway. I will tell him, "No." He will hesitate for a moment, smile, and then do it again. I will start counting, "One....Two....Three." As soon as I start to say 3, he runs.
Whenever he has to decide something, it always turns into a fifteen-minute process. If he poops on the potty, he gets a treat. We have a bowl of treats on the table in the kitchen. He will pick up a piece of candy, ask, "What is this?" I will tell him what kind of candy it is. He will put it down, pick something else up and ask, "What is this?" This will continue until I start counting out of frustration. He will usually make a decision then because he knows if he doesn't, he won't get his treat.
Sometimes I'll let him watch a Disney show or a movie. I'll ask him what he wants to watch. He'll tell me, "Miles From Tomorrowland" (or something similar). I'll turn on the program and he'll start whining, "I don't want to watch this! I told you, I want to watch Chuggington (or some other movie or program)." The same thing happens with any decisions on what he wants for lunch. He might say, "peanut crackers" (a.k.a. peanut butter crackers) and as soon as I put them on a plate, he will say, "Mommy! I don't want that. I told you, I want meat, cheese, and crackers (a.k.a. Lunchables)". This happens every day.
Bedtime is always a ritual. We play the "I can't do it myself" game when trying to put on pajamas. Sometimes I'll make him do it himself and sometimes I get frustrated and just change him myself. Then we might read a story and then we do prayers. Every night he says, "Mommy, can I lead prayer?" If he has been a good listener for most of the day, I will let him lead. We have a standard prayer we say, but sometimes the kids get silly and start thanking God for everything that falls into their line of sight. It's cute, but it can go on forever if you let it. Anything to delay bedtime. If I tell Jordan he can't lead, he will start to argue with me, "Mommy! I want to lead."
"No Jordan. Summer is going to lead."
He will grab my face and turn it towards him. He will put his face right in front of mine and say, "Mommy, I want to lead. Please?"
If I say, "No" again, he will just start yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" trying to interrupt me while I talk. Usually, that is when he gets an early trip to bed.
When we actually get to bed, there is an entire ritual that must take place. He usually picks a toy and puts it on the table in his room so it can "watch" him sleep. He also has about ten stuffed animals in his bed. If one of them is missing, he knows, and will insist that we find it. I also have to make sure the ceiling fan is on. Then he will give Daddy a hug. I get a hug next (or sometimes he won't give me a hug just to prolong bedtime). I will ask him if he is going to give me a hug. He might say, "No" or he might just giggle. I usually start to leave the bedroom at that time.
He will then start to have a meltdown and scream, "Mommy, huggies!" I will go back to him and give him a hug and a kiss. Sometimes he will collect a couple of stuffed animals to snuggle with, lay down, and let me cover him up. Sometimes he'll just sit there and stare at me instead of laying down.
I'll tell him to lay down and he will reply, "I don't want to." Or he might say, "I'm not tired." I drop the blanket and start to leave and another fit of screaming, "Mommy, huggies!" begins.
Once we get Daddy hugs, ceiling fan on, Mommy hugs and a kiss, collect the stuffed animals, grab a couple to snuggle with, lay down, and cover up, then I start to leave the room. He will ALWAYS say, "Mommy, I want one more huggie." I always give him another hug because I know some day soon he won't want so many hugs and kisses from Mommy.
He will also always tell me to leave his door open a little bit. He doesn't like it all the way closed. Usually, once I leave the room, he will start yelling, "Mommy, I need to go potty!" or "Mommy, I firsty." He may not have used the potty all day and he may have just drank an entire cup of sugar-free Kool-Aid, but if it's bedtime, he's going to pee on that potty or get one more drink just to delay bedtime. If we don't perform this bedtime ritual, he may lay in bed and cry and/or scream for hours. 3-year olds are very stubborn.
I think the only reason most 3-year olds don't end up locked in a cage somewhere is because they are so darn cute.
Multiple times a day, Jordan will stop whatever he is doing and say, "Mommy, I love you." I will get random hugs and kisses. He also says really funny and witty things sometimes. He loves to laugh and play. He is always the first to say, "Please", "Thank you", "Excuse me", etc. He has excellent manners. Sometimes he will pick flowers (a.k.a. weeds) out of the yard and bring them to me. He likes to help me with laundry or grocery shopping. He likes to sing. He can be really sweet. He can also be a little monster.
God makes toddlers cute so we don't kill them.
No matter how much of a monster he is, this little boy has stolen my heart forever.
