Girl's Night Out

Most of my days are spent in the house with the kids.  It gets really lonely when the only people you talk to regularly are toddlers.  There are only so many questions you can answer in a day.  My daughter will ask the same question over and over.  She either has no short-term memory, or she is just asking questions to be talking.  Either way, it's really annoying.  I saw on a Google commercial that the average child asks 144 questions per day.  Now double that for my daughter, and then add in 2 additional children asking 144 questions per day.  That's an average of 576 questions per day. 

My son, Brennan (5), likes to argue with me about everything I tell him, especially if he is in trouble.  I will tell him to stop doing something and his immediate response is, "I was just trying to (fill in the blank)."  It doesn't matter to him that I just told him not to do that very thing 5 minutes ago.  He still feels like he can somehow justify his behavior.  For example, this morning he was playing with the baby gate.  It is leaning against the wall near the kitchen.  The kids aren't allowed to play in the kitchen.  He is in the kitchen trying to roll cars behind the gate as it leaned against the wall.  I knew it was going to end up in someone being hurt.  I told him to get out of the kitchen and leave the gate alone 3 separate times.  It wasn't long before he knocked the gate over and it scratched his foot.  I told him, again, to get out of the kitchen and leave the gate alone.  He starts arguing with me, "I was just trying to roll my car behind the gate."

I reply, "Yes, but I told you to stop doing that 3 times already."

Brennan argues, "Well, I was just trying to roll my car behind the gate."  As if this repetitive argument should clarify that he was in the right.  At this point I am done arguing and I send him to time-out for not listening.  This happens multiple times a day. 

My youngest, Jordan (3), is difficult on many levels right now.  He wants to test me on everything.  He spends a lot of time in the time-out chair these days.  Some days he can be really sweet and loving.  He will give me hugs and kisses and tell me he loves me multiple times a day.  Other days, he will stand there in total defiance as I tell him to stop doing something.  It's not until I start counting that he will stop. 

During the week, I also have my niece (7), and my nephew (10).  My nephew is usually perfectly behaved and I never have trouble with him.  My niece is a natural smart aleck, but other than that, I don't have too many problems with her.  However, the kids are constantly bickering.  Most days I feel like a referee.  They might play for 5 or 10 minutes in harmony, and then all of a sudden they are arguing over some toy.  They always want the toy someone else is playing with.  It doesn't matter that they have dozens of other toys to play with, the only toy they want is the one someone else has.

So, I spend most of my time with children.  When my husband gets home in the evening, the kids are so excited to see him that we don't have time to talk.  It's not until the kids have been fed, bathed, read to, teeth brushed, prayers said, and tucked into bed that we actually have a moment to talk.  After dinner, he is so exhausted from work that he usually falls asleep around 10 pm.  The kids go to bed at 8 or 9, so I have maybe 1 to 2 hours in a day to have an adult conversation.  As you can imagine, it gets pretty lonely being a stay-at-home mom.

Recently, my husband and I have started having a date night, which is great.  We will go and have a nice dinner and maybe see a movie when we can arrange for a sitter.  I definitely recommend date night for all married couples, especially if you have kids.  You need time to reconnect with your spouse.  You need to have conversations that don't revolve around the kids.

I also try to get out with friends about once a month.  We usually go to a paint and sip studio.  Afterwards, we usually go and have a late dinner.  It is so nice to get out with my family and friends.  I absolutely love to paint.  I'm not a great artist by any means, but I don't let that stop me.  I have so many paintings from girls' night out, that I have a stack of them in my closet.  I don't have any more room on my walls for them. 

I think, as moms, we sometimes forget to take time for ourselves.  I recommend to all moms out there, have a date night and a girl's night out at least one a month.  You have to make time to do the things you enjoy.  I really love reading books, watching movies, writing on my blog, and listening to music.  However, I dedicate so much time to taking care of my children that I don't take time to do the things I enjoy most.  I know as my children get older, they will require less and less of my attention.  Right now, I have to be on watch at all times because it only takes seconds for a toddler to get into something dangerous.  Just moments ago, I had to put my daughter in time-out for bouncing on the top bunk.  About 5 minutes after that, I had to put my 3-year old in time-out for the very same thing.  He copies everything his older brother and sister do.  Like I said, I have to be on guard constantly.

Take time for yourselves ladies.  Have date nights with your husband.  Go out with your girlfriends and leave the kids with your husband.  We have to take care of ourselves.