Cameron and I lived in Arizona for about two years. I started to get really homesick and missed my family. Cameron's family isn't as close as mine. He was ready for a change. He had lived in Arizona all of his life, so we decided to move to Kentucky.
In October 1999, my father and my great-uncle came to get us and drive us across country. We lived with my parents for a few months, then we were able to rent a house directly across the street from my parents' home.
On our Anniversary in 2000, we decided it was time to start a family. We both had steady jobs and it just felt like the time was right. I stopped taking my birth control and by May we were pregnant.
It was funny how I figured out I was pregnant. My periods have been irregular my whole life, so I couldn't tell that way. The first thing I noticed was that my nipples were really itchy. I thought maybe it was just dry skin. I was applying lotion multiple times a day, but the itch wouldn't go away. It still didn't occur to me that I could be pregnant.
One day I was at work. I was working with Cameron again at a lawn and garden repair & sales shop. I was in charge of parts and warranties. We had just gotten a large shipment of parts. I went to pick up one of the boxes and the strangest thought popped into my head. "You shouldn't be lifting heavy boxes. You're pregnant." I literally stopped dead in my tracks. What the heck? Where did that come from? I stood there trying to remember my last period and I couldn't remember.
When I got home that evening, I stopped by the pharmacy and bought a pregnancy test. The next morning, I took the test and it was positive. I was so excited! I couldn't believe it. I made an appointment with the doctor for the following morning. The doctor confirmed the exciting news. I called my family and friends and told them we were expecting. Everyone was excited.
When I went to work on Monday, I found out that a co-worker friend was also pregnant. Our babies were due about 1 week apart. My friend and I would talk about how much fun it was that we were pregnant at the same time.
Two weeks later I was at work and it felt like I had started my period. I went to the restroom and there was blood. I ran to my husband in a panic and he took me to the hospital. They did some blood work, but they couldn't confirm if I was having a miscarriage yet. The bleeding wasn't heavy, so they sent me home. The next morning I had to go in for blood work again so they could compare the hormone levels. A few hours later, my OBGYN called to confirm that I was having a miscarriage. My hCG hormone level had dropped significantly. I remember hanging up the phone, sliding down the wall into the floor and just wailing and sobbing. It was (and is) the worst heartbreaking experience I've ever had. That sense of loss never goes away. It's been 15 years since this happened and it still brings me to tears thinking about the child I would have now. My husband was sad, but he didn't experience the loss as profoundly as I did.
In my subconscious I knew the odds of having a miscarriage were pretty high in my family. My mother had 3 miscarriages and my sister had 1.
Cameron and I continued to try and get pregnant again without success.
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