Cameron proposed to me online in September 1997. He didn't care about my weight. He had once been overweight and had lost over 100 pounds through diet and exercise. He loves me the way I am.
We decided to elope. I had told a couple of my best friends I was getting married, but my parents and family didn't know. My parents knew that we were intending on getting married someday, but they didn't know when.
Cameron and I had already gotten a marriage license when I came for my visit in November 1997. We called around to churches to see if a minister would be willing to marry us although we didn't attend any particular church at that time. We found a minister at Emmanuel Baptist Church in Tucson, Arizona.
My wedding day was February 14, 1998, Valentine's Day. I didn't want a huge wedding. I had watched too many women marry people they probably shouldn't have married all because they had this little girl fantasy about their wedding day. I didn't want my marriage to be about a dress and a cake. I wanted my wedding day to be about my marriage. My only stipulation was that I had to be married by a minister in a church. We were making a vow to each other and to God.
I was not nervous at all that day. I was excited, but relaxed. We had two of Cameron's friends from work serve as our witnesses. I wore a white, flower-print skirt and a white shirt (items that I already owned). Cameron wore a button-down shirt and a pair of jeans. The wedding was quick and went smoothly. We had made reservations to spend one night at a local hotel. My husband's boss called and paid to upgrade our room to a suite. We had dinner at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants, Casa Molina.
The next day, after we got back to our apartment, I called my parents to tell them the news. To say they were not happy would be an understatement. I tried to explain to my parents that my wedding wasn't for anyone but him and I. It was about our commitment to one another and not about anyone or anything else. My parents were upset that they weren't invited, but we didn't invite anyone.
Eventually, the dust settled and Cameron and I made a trip to Kentucky the following month so he could meet my family and friends.
Our relationship progressed so quickly. We met online, got engaged before we had even met face-to-face, moved in together after only having spent five days together, and were married within 2 1/2 months of moving in together. We always tell people we got married, then we started dating.
I don't regret my decision to not have a big wedding. I have enjoyed every moment of our almost 17 years (our Anniversary is in about 2 weeks).
My husband and I have a great relationship. It takes work and of course we get on one another's nerves now and then, but we love each other. We are committed to making this work.
I had three rules before I would agree to get married; 1) No hitting, 2) No cheating, 3) No fighting about money (you either have it or you don't, fighting about it won't change anything). Everything else can be worked out. We've never broken rules one and two. There have been brief infractions regarding rule 3, but nothing major. Just minor disagreements.
We don't fight much. I'm not into arguing. Communication is key to any relationship. Just talk about it. Marriage is work. Too many people just give up when things get difficult. There will be good years and difficult years. If you can hang in there during the difficult years, it will always be worth while.
Marrying Cameron was the best decision I have ever made. He is honest, hard-working, faithful, kind, Christian, and a good father. He's not perfect, but neither am I. But I think we are perfect together.
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