In this country it is illegal to discriminate against someone based on their race, religion, sex, age, disability, or sexual orientation. However, it is still perfectly legal to discriminate against someone because of their weight. How is this possible? Why are overweight people excluded from the protection of the law?
I read a blog post from Shrinking Kenz where she discussed how she and her mother were publicly humiliated by Southwest Airlines employees because of their weight.
Nothing will tear down an overweight person like publicly fat shaming, making fun of us, or drawing attention to our weight. A Southwest Airlines employee in Phoenix, Arizona publicly humiliated me in front of hundreds of other passengers. I was so mortified by the experience that I never reported it or even discussed it with anyone. After reading Kenz's post about her experience, I decided to talk about my experience.
A few years ago, my husband and I traveled via Southwest Airlines from Louisville, Kentucky to Phoenix, Arizona. We travel to Arizona almost every year to visit family in Tucson. Before travelling, I looked up Southwest Airlines policy about overweight passengers. Their policy essentially states that if your hips will fit in the seat with the armrests down, then you don't need to purchase another seat. My hips fit in the seat, but the seat belts don't always fit and I sometimes need a seat belt extension. I had flown from Louisville to Phoenix with no problems. However, while we were waiting for our return flight from Phoenix to Louisville, the end of my vacation turned into a nightmare.
I was sitting in a crowded area at the boarding gate in Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. My husband and I were chatting about our vacation when a thin blond woman approached me. She was a Southwest employee. She loomed over me momentarily and then bent over and started talking to me like I was a child. She announced in front of everyone "You will probably have to buy another seat because you won't fit in just one seat." I WAS MORTIFIED! I tried to be calm and I said, "I fit in the seat. I flew out here a week ago on Southwest and I didn't have a problem." This didn't appease her. Her response was, "That doesn't matter. It is MY determination on whether or not you will fit in the seat. I get to decide if you need another seat or not." Then she began telling me that I would have to pre-board so that she could see if I fit in the seat or not. I told her again that I didn't have a problem when I flew out the previous week and I knew I fit in the seat, but she kept telling me it was "her decision" on whether or not I could fit in the seat. It didn't matter what had happened the previous week.
At this point I was crying because I was so embarrassed. Then she made me get up in front of everyone and walk on the plane with her so she could "see for herself" if I fit in the seat. After meeting HER requirements, she didn't even apologize for humiliating me in front of all of the other passengers. I cried the entire flight home. All 4 hours of it. I was so humiliated. I was just devastated. (It turns out after reading a follow-up post by Kenz, a Southwest representative told her that if you were allowed to fly without purchasing a second seat on a flight, then they couldn't require you to purchase an additional seat on a return flight. Apparently, the employees at Southwest aren't even familiar with the company policies and they make their own determinations based on their own biases about overweight people.)
What made the situation even worse is that everyone looked at me as they got on the plane. There was a very large man sitting at the gate with us and she NEVER SAID A WORD TO HIM. He was much taller than me and much rounder than me, but she never approached him about having to purchase another seat.
It wouldn't have been so devastating if she had approached me quietly and asked me to come to the ticket counter or to step aside somewhere to discuss the situation. Instead, she leered over me like she was disciplining a child and her voice got louder every time I tried to explain that I had flown out the week before with no problems. It was the most humiliating experience of my life. I was so upset by the ordeal that I couldn't even work up the nerve to call and report her behavior. I just wanted to forget about it. The only problem is I HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT.
I'm not trying to get anything from Southwest by posting this. I won't fly with them anymore. I'd rather pay more to fly on another carrier than to risk being humiliated again.
I'm just trying to bring awareness to the last legal form of discrimination in this country: weight discrimination. It happens every day in this country and its time for it to stop. Obese people have feelings too.
I know that there are jobs that I didn't get because people made assumptions about my work ethic based on my weight. Or maybe they just don't like fat people. You can see the look on their face and know that no matter how qualified you are for the position, YOU WILL NEVER GET THE JOB. And unless they say "You aren't going to get this job because you are fat", there is no way to prove they are discriminating against you. And even if they did say that to you, technically the law doesn't cover weight-based discrimination. You can only hope to get it covered under the disability discrimination law, and that is probably unlikely to happen.
I experienced so much bullying as a child because of my weight. There was a boy that would make fun of me every morning as I walked to the bus stop. There was a girl that told me she wanted to fight me just because I was "fat." There are countless stories like these in my life. I have been overweight since I was 9 years old.
I know this happens to people every day in this country. Its not okay to discriminate against people because they have a disability. Its not okay to make fun of people who have an alcohol or drug addiction. Why is it still okay to make fun of someone who has an endocrine disorder or a food addiction?
Food addiction is the same as a drug or alcohol addiction. People overeat to soothe emotional pain. If you make fun of an overweight person or lecture them about their weight, all that happens is that they turn to eating to soothe the emotional pain they are feeling. It is my opinion that a food addiction may be worse than a drug or alcohol addiction. With drugs and alcohol, you can quit them completely. You can't just quit eating. Imagine being a drug addict and someone telling you to only take 3 hits a day. Could you stop at 3? Well, that is what a compulsive over eater has to deal with. A compulsive over eater can't just stop eating completely. They have to try and limit themselves to 3 small meals a day.
People who have diseases hypothyroidism, which slows down your metabolism (which I have), and an endocrine disorder like polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) which makes your metabolism almost non-existent and turns food directly into fat (which I also have) tend to struggle with their weight. I have struggled with my weight since I entered puberty. I've tried just about every diet and exercise regimen out there. I have never been able to lose more than 30 pounds. For years I just thought I was crazy. How was it possible that I didn't eat any more food than a normal weight person and be physically active and still be morbidly obese? It just didn't make sense. A few years ago, I finally found an answer to this disturbing mystery. Approximately 30% of women with PCOS can gain weight even with normal caloric intake and exercise. I try to eat healthier foods in small portions, but because of my thyroid disease and PCOS, it still makes losing weight very difficult for me. Please take a moment and click on the links above about these diseases and educate yourself about what other conditions may factor into keeping someone obese.
Please stop making fun of or telling jokes about overweight or obese people. It is hurtful and humiliating to them. It is just another form of bullying and discrimination. We are people too. We deserve the respect that everyone else is afforded.
I know that there are people who are discriminated against because of their race or sexual orientation despite the existing laws to protect them, but it is generally not socially acceptable to do these types of things. People frown on it and therefore it doesn't happen as often. However, it seems that it is still socially acceptable to make fun of fat people because its their own fault, right?
Well, it isn't always their fault. Sometimes they have a disease, a disability, or a medication that causes weight gain. If someone is overweight because of a food addiction, you don't know what has happened in their lives to cause them to turn to food to soothe the emotional pain they feel. Don't just assume that obese people are lazy and eat all day. That may not be the case at all. And even if it is, they may be depressed or emotionally hurting and that is the reason why they eat. Help them, don't hurt them by fat shaming them, making fun of them, cracking jokes about fat people, or singling them out in front of hundreds of people in a crowded room.
There was a story in the news recently about people fat shaming Kelly Clarkson. Why does it matter what she weighs? Her weight does not change the fact that she is an amazing singer. She is a beautiful woman with a beautiful voice. I don't care what she weighs or what she wears.
There are so many things that a normal-weight person has probably never considered about an overweight person's life. You are constantly on the watch for situations that may embarrass you. If you think you could encounter an embarrassing situation at a party or an event, you don't go to said party or event. Then there are every day things like; Turnstyles: will I fit through it? Rollercoasters: Will the bar go down and will my passenger fall out because the bar isn't down far enough for them? Seatbelts: Will it be long enough for me? (I've found that rear seatbelts in most newer cars will not fit me.) Airlines: Are they going to make me buy two seats? Will I have to request a seatbelt extension? Wooden Decks: Is the wood rotten? Will I fall through? Chairs: Is it built sturdy? Will it hold me? Clothes: Is it going to be tight? Will I find the right size? (I always shop at Plus-Sized women's stores now. I've found that even if a department store says it's my size, it most likely will not fit. Most of the things seem to be cut smaller in regular department stores. I never buy anything without trying it on first.) Work or Volunteer Uniforms: Will they have a size large enough to fit me? There are so many situations that we are constantly evaluating on a daily basis.
I'm turning 40 this year. It has taken me this long to realize that my weight is not the most important thing about me. It's not important at all, really. There is so much more to me, and everyone else for that matter, that is much more important than what we look like on the outside. I know that I will always be self-conscious about my weight, but that's okay. I'm working through it one day at a time.
We've been programmed by society to hate ourselves if we don't meet their standards of beauty. What is sad is the photos we see in the magazines and the actors on the screen have been photoshopped, airbrushed, have teams of make-up artists, costume designers, wardrobe assistants, and hair dressers to make them look beautiful. No one can live up to those type of standards. I long for the day when I pick up Cosmopolitan or Vogue Magazine and see average women on the cover. Women come in all shapes and sizes. Why should only one type of woman be represented in our media? It's outrageous!
We need to love ourselves as we are. We are beautifully and wonderfully made by God. He knows every hair on our heads. He knit us in the womb. We cannot let society determine our worth. We are priceless creations. WE ARE BEAUTIFUL!
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