Brennan says, "I put a bean in there." Then he starts laughing. At first we thought he was joking. Then I realized that he probably wasn't joking.
I said, "Brennan, is there a bean in your ear? Tell the truth because this is important."
He mumbles, "Yes."
After shining a flashlight into his ear, we discovered there was indeed a bean in there. I was able to use a pair of tweezers to remove the bean, so fortunately there was no ER visit last night.
After removing the bean, my husband looks at Brennan, holds up his right hand, and says, "Hail Gallaxhar!" Brennan smiles.
The Cameron says, "You're supposed to say, 'Hail me." Brennan thought that was funny.
For those of you who don't get the joke, these quotes are from the movie, "Monsters Versus Aliens." There is an evil alien named Gallaxhar who creates a bunch of clones of himself to take over earth. Every time one of the clones sees another Gallaxhar pass by, they raise their hand and say, "Hail Gallaxhar." When the salute the real Gallaxhar, he will reply in a bored voice, "Hail me." The reason why this movie is relevant to this situation is because Gallaxhar drinks and eats things through his ear.
My husband has an odd sense of humor. Fortunately, so do I. My kids are going to have a weird sense of humor growing up in this house.
This is just one of the mishaps that can happen on a weekly, or even a daily, basis when you have kids.
On Christmas Eve last year, I decided to bake some sugar cookies and let the kids decorate them for Santa Claus. It was right before bedtime and the kids had their pajamas on. As soon as we were finished decorating the cookies, everyone was going to bed.
I let the kids use plastic butter knives to put icing on their cookies. I ran out of plastic butter knives, so I gave Jordan a plastic spoon to decorate his cookies. All was going well. The kids were having a good time.
Brennan asked me to help him decorate his cookies. While I was helping Brennan, Jordan says, "Can I eat it?" I told him he could. I hear a loud crunch, but I didn't think much of it at the time. I just remember thinking that I didn't think the cookies were that crunchy. I look over to see Jordan chewing happily.
I look down at his plate and realize he still has the same number of cookies he had the last time I looked. So, what did he eat that was crunching so loud?
The answer: His plastic spoon he was using to decorate his cookies. I guess he thought the spoon was edible since it was covered in icing at the time.
I said, "Jordan, did you eat this spoon?" He looked at me kind of sheepishly and I knew that was my answer. Mom Emergency Mode (MEM) kicked in and I took him to the Emergency Room.
He took it all in stride. He wasn't afraid at all. Even through the X-Rays he didn't cry.
Meanwhile, I'm a nervous wreck imagining damage to his stomach and intestines, internal bleeding, and other horrible situations that could occur from digesting hard plastic.
After a couple of worrisome hours in the ER, the doctor did not see any large pieces of plastic in the x-rays and determined that he would probably be fine. We just had to watch him for fever, vomiting, blood in his stool, etc. I took him home and put him in bed. I was up multiple times during the night checking on him.
We did put out the cookies and milk for Santa, though.
Santa took a quick bite from each cookie and had a few drinks of milk before moving on to the next lucky home.
The next morning after his first bowel movement, I discovered many tiny shards of plastic. The plastic spoon passed through with no problems. I was so thankful and relieved.
The kids all enjoy watching me put on make-up (on the infrequent occasions that I actually take the time to do it these days). Summer is 4 and loves all things girly. She loves to dress-up like a princess. She likes to wear those loud, little plastic heels. She likes to wear the plastic jewelry. And she loves to pretend she is putting on make-up.
A few months back I bought her a child's lip gloss in a little heart-shaped plastic container. I figured that should make her feel like she was putting on make-up like Mommy. Within an hour, she had put the entire contents of the container on her face. She looked like she stuck her lips in a vat of Vaseline. I told her no more lip gloss until she could learn moderation.
A few weeks ago, I got a call from her Headstart teacher. Summer likes pretending to wear make-up so much that she took the markers at school and gave herself a complete makeover. They had taken the markers away from her earlier in the day for trying to use them as make-up. She snuck into the markers again and made herself beautiful.
My first inclination when the teacher told me this was to laugh. I think the teacher was a little taken aback by my laughter. I assured her that Summer would be punished for defying her teacher and I would talk to her about not using markers as make-up, but the mental image of her looking like Bozo the Clown would not leave my mind. I only wish the teacher had taken a photo.
I did talk to Summer about not using markers as make-up and told her she was still too young for make-up. She got time-out and lost her TV and electronics time for the day for defying her teacher.
I have lots of fun art supplies for the kids to use. There are crayons, markers, chalk, colored pencils, coloring books, paints, etc. I had let the kids write on their chalk boards earlier in the day. Summer decided to keep a piece of chalk for herself because later that afternoon, she came out of her room looking like this:
I had to giggle, but I tried to hide it from her. Again, we had the discussion that she is too young for make-up and she shouldn't use crayons, markers, chalk, or anything else as make-up.
Being a mother involves a variety of emotions on a daily basis. Happiness, pure joy, anger, frustration, sadness, exhaustion, etc. Children can be funny, interesting, frustrating, sweet, and little monsters within the span of a few hours.
And I feel so blessed to be able to experience these adventures every day. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Not even a nap.
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