Diary of a PCOS Mommy: A Life-Changing Event

I've taken care of kids for most of my life. When I was 9, I started helping with my sister while my parents worked. I would make dinner for her, help her with her homework, and make sure she got her bath. When I was a teenager, I would babysit a lot of my younger cousins. When I was 17, I moved in with my aunt for a while to help care for her baby while she went to nursing school and worked full time. When I was in college, I worked for the YMCA Child Development Center. I spent my days with children aged 5 to fourteen. After my niece and nephew were born, I would babysit for my sister. I thought I was pretty well prepared to deal with anything that came my way. I was probably better prepared than most, but still not as prepared as I thought I was when my children first arrive in my home through foster care.

Brennan was almost 3-years old. He was in diapers and he couldn't say but 4 words; sissy, eat, hot, and moo (for moon). Summer was 19-months old. She was in diapers, but she could speak fairly well. Jordan was 8-months old. He was very little for his age. He had only been bottle fed from birth. He had never had baby food before. Brennan and Jordan had some sort of skin infection.

The first few weeks were the most difficult.

THURSDAY - 8/30/2012
We brought the kids in from the social workers car. The only items they had with them was a Kroger bag with one outfit each (which were completely smoke-saturated and had to be washed immediately), one bottle for Jordan, and half a can of formula. We made the kids spaghetti for dinner. After dinner, we gave them a bath. I gave Jordan a bottle and put him in the baby bed. He went to sleep pretty easily. Obviously, we didn't have time to assemble the other baby beds that evening, so we put Brennan on the sofa, and Summer on the love seat. I don't think they had ever had a regular bedtime. We had to fight with Brennan all night just to keep him laying down.  He screamed and fought us the whole time. Cameron stayed in the living room with them all night.

FRIDAY
Cameron went to Walmart and grabbed a few things we forgot in our rush. He also got the kids a few extra outfits now that we had some idea of their sizes. Jordan was 8-months old, but he was so tiny. He was wearing 3-month clothing.  Brennan and Summer were also a little small for their ages. I spent most of the day trying to arrange childcare for the kids on Monday. Through a friend, I was able to get Jordan and Summer into a Christian daycare not too far from my house. They didn't have a spot for Brennan, so I had to find another daycare for him. The daycare I found for Brennan didn't have a spot for Jordan. I just couldn't find a daycare that could take all 3 of them on such short notice. The daycare that Brennan was going to was just down the street from Summer and Jordan's daycare, so it wasn't too difficult to manage. Another battle ensued that evening at bedtime.

SATURDAY, SUNDAY, & MONDAY
Cameron spent most of the day on Saturday in the kids' bedroom assembling beds. We had lots of visitors. All of my family and friends wanted to meet the kids. We also had several friends and family members donate clothing to us since we had so little for the kids. Everyone really stepped up and helped us out. They were such a blessing to us and we were so thankful.

TUESDAY
We got the kids registered at their daycares and we went back to work.  The state had given us a clothing voucher for each child. It turns out that very few stores will actually take these vouchers. We had called around and Kohl's said they took them. We went to Kohl's with all the kids in tow and filled our cart with clothes for the 3 of them. We went to customer service to pay for the clothes with the vouchers. After lots of confusion and conversations with an assistant manager, a manager, and a regional manager, we found that Kohl's actually couldn't take the voucher. Basically, we wasted about 2 hours at Kohl's. The only other place I found that would take the vouchers was a K-Mart near my work. During my lunch break I decided to run to K-Mart and get the kids some clothes with the vouchers. As I was shopping, I got a call from the daycare. They wanted me to come and get Summer because she had head lice. Great! I hurried and finished my shopping, grabbed some lice shampoo while I was there, and ran to the daycare to get the kids. We treated them all that evening, washed every linen in the house, took all of the stuffed animals and sprayed them and put them in a plastic bag, and treated ourselves for good measure.

It took almost a month before we were fully rid of the lice. I was treating the whole family about once a week. The kids were getting transported from daycare once a week to have a one-hour, supervised visit with their biological father. I think they were catching the lice from either their bio-dad or the car seats in the social worker's car. I'm not sure which. I got really tired of lice shampoo, lice combs, and lice spray. Summer's hair was past her shoulders. We cut her hair to a fairly short bob just to help deal with the lice problem. It nearly drove me crazy.

Naptimes and bedtimes were a huge struggle with Brennan. I don't think the kids had ever seen a green vegetable. We had a 3-day standoff with Brennan over green beans. He wouldn't even put one in his mouth. We started giving Jordan baby food and he loved it! I was also giving him cereal in his bottle to help him sleep better at night. We started working with Brennan with flash cards to help him talk. I wouldn't give him things unless he at least tried to say it first. We also took him to a therapist for evaluation.

After a few months of evaluation, it was determined that Brennan has Sensory Processing Disorder. He can be very sensitive to sounds, smells, tastes, textures, and touches. For the first month or so, we tried to create a strict routine for them so that the kids always knew what was coming next. We had Jordan and Summer evaluated and they appeared to be developing normally for their ages. However, Brennan was developmentally delayed due to the neglect they suffered at the hands of the biological father.

Brennan would have huge meltdowns from time to time. He would throw tantrums of epic proportions. One day, the kids were napping so I decided to take a shower. Brennan woke up before I was finished with my shower and called for me. I didn't hear him and come right away, so he lost it. He took off all of his clothes, including a poop-filled diaper, and threw them on the floor. He stripped the sheet and blanket out of his crib and threw them on the floor as well. Then he intentionally peed all over the place, all the while screaming and jumping up and down. These types of tantrums from him were pretty common in the beginning. If we took him to a kid's birthday party, he would get completely overstimulated and have a complete meltdown when it was time to leave. His speech was improving, but his little sister was still miles ahead of him in terms of verbal communication.

Initially, everything was a fight with Brennan. I don't think he had ever had any real structure in his life. I don't think anyone was paying attention to them. I noticed that if Summer got upset and started to cry, Brennan would try to make her laugh. If Brennan got upset, Summer would come and give him a hug. They had learned to comfort one another.

All 3 of my children were born with narcotics in their system. Jordan was actually born addicted to narcotics and spent 12 days in the hospital. Summer was born in a car on the way to the hospital. The biological mother could not be around the children because of her drug problem, so the children were placed in the care of their father. Jordan was put in Foster Care when he left the hospital because they weren't certain if he had the same biological father.

When Jordan was 7 months old they finally did a paternity test and determined he had the same father. At that time, Jordan was place in the home with his siblings and biological father. When the social worker came to do a follow-up about a month later, they determined that the biological father was not suitable for any of the children. That is how they came to be in my care.