Childhood is Carefree, Right?

In the past few months I've been teaching Sunday School to 4th and 5th graders on Sunday mornings.  It's been a wonderful experience. 

My journey to being a follower of Jesus has been an interesting one.  My parents aren't religious.  We did not attend church as a family when I was a child.  Every now and then I would go to church with a cousin or a friend just because it seemed like a fun thing to do.  When I was 8-years old I decided to get on a bus to a church I had never been to.  I started going, by myself, pretty regularly.  It was at that church that I was saved.  Before I could schedule my Baptism, the church had a fire in the kitchen and was under renovation for a few months.  We moved during that time and I stopped attending that church. 

We moved around a lot when I was a kid.  My parents had a job that travelled to a different city in the US for 6 months a year.  From January to June, my parents lived in another city.  Sometimes my sister and I would travel with my parents and sometimes we would stay in Louisville with one of my aunts.  All of the moving around didn't allow for me to attend church on a regular basis. 

I've believed in Jesus since I was a child, but I wasn't a "follower."  There is a difference between just believing in Christ and following Christ.  If you want to read up on this idea, I recommend the book "not a fan." by Kyle Idleman.

In 2001 I started reading the Bible regularly.  In 2005, I started attending Southeast Christian Church (www.southeastchristian.org) with my best friends.  In 2007, on Thanksgiving weekend, I was baptized in front of approximately 5000 people at my church.  It was an amazing experience.  Since that time, I have been trying to improve my relationship with Christ and trying to serve others in His name.

I'm not trying to tell you how to believe.  I don't mind sharing my spiritual journey with others and I enjoy any conversations about it, but I don't push my faith on others.  Your spiritual journey is your own.  As long as your religious beliefs don't encourage violence, I'm okay with it.  Of course, I hope and pray that you become a follower of Christ, but I believe Christ calls people to him. 

I've always wanted to be more involved in my church, but the church I attended was 24 miles each way from my house.  It wasn't feasible for me to go and do things there regularly.  That is, until October 2014.  They opened another campus to my church about 5 miles from my house (https://www.southeastchristian.org/southwest/).  I was so excited to have the opportunity to volunteer on a regular basis. 

Initially, I signed up to volunteer as a Decision Guide.  A Decision Guide helps people with questions about faith in Christ, decisions to become a follower of Christ, or decisions to become a member of the church.  My husband signed up to volunteer in the children's ministry.  He thought having more experience with children would help him to be a better father.

They say God laughs when we make plans.  Sometimes we fail to realize that God's plan for our lives is better than anything we could plan for ourselves.  So, I thought I wanted to be a Decision Guide.  It turns out, there were lots of people that wanted to be Decision Guides.  They desperately needed more volunteers in the children's ministry.  I decided to join my husband and help in the children's ministry (or I should say, God placed it on my heart to go where help was needed, not where I wanted to be).

My husband and I were assigned to teach the 4th and 5th Grade Bible Study.  My husband had previous experience teaching Bible Study to teenagers, so we decided he should lead.  It turns out, that wasn't part of God's plan.  My husband is a very quiet guy.  His voice has a very low tone.  That tone is not exactly ideal for getting the attention of a bunch of 9- and 10-year olds.  I, on the other hand, have no trouble commanding the attention of children.  When I was in college, I worked in the YMCA Childcare Enrichment Program.  I spent 2 years with children from the ages of 5 to 14 on a daily basis.  I knew how to get their attention.  The next weekend we were assigned to continue teaching the 4th and 5th graders.  I took over the lead.

It has been an amazingly rewarding experience.  It also can be very trying at times.  What do you say to a child when they ask you what they should do because their parents are getting a divorce?  What do you say when a child asks you why their little sister choked on a peanut when she was a year old and now she is mentally disabled and breathes on a respirator?  What do you say to a child when they tell you a family member is dying?  What do you say to a child when they tell you they were abused by their father, their mother is too sick to care for them, and now they have to live with their grandmother?  What do you say to a child who worries if their mother is going to hell because she isn't a believer?  What do you say to a child when they tell you they don't think their parents love them?  These are all questions I've encountered in the last couple of months.  It takes a lot of prayer and a lot of discernment to help them answer these questions.

I think sometimes we forget how difficult it is to be a child.  We, as adults, know about what we consider to be "real" problems like; how are we going to pay the bills this month because we lost our jobs, how are we going to put food on the table for our children, how do I deal with a disease like PCOS, how do I tell my family I have cancer, and the list goes on.  As adults, we have serious problems.  Problems that affect others, not just ourselves.

We look at children and wish all we had to worry about was going to school and doing homework.  We look at children and wish we had so few responsibilities and that all of the hard decisions were made by someone else.  But to a child, their problems are just as big and just as important.  Their problems can be all-consuming because they don't have the life experience to put things into perspective.  They don't have the life experience to know that you can live through heartbreak, failure, disappointment, loss, and grief. 

I spend a lot of my time refereeing between my 3 kids.  My son, Brennan, is 5.  My daughter, Summer, is 4.  My son, Jordan, is 3.  Everything is major to them.  As a parent, you sometimes think, "Is it really a big deal that your sister is playing with your toy?"  That's because, as an adult, we know that little sister will get bored eventually and put the toy down.  But the child doesn't consider what has happened in the past and what will happen in the future.  To them, what is important is RIGHT NOW.  And RIGHT NOW is everything.

I'm not a perfect Mom.  I get frustrated sometimes.  I lose my temper.  I pray every night for the Lord to help me to be a better mother.  My children deserve that.  Every child deserves that.  My children started their lives with biological parents who had problems with drugs and alcohol.  They started their lives being an inconvenience to their biological parents.  Within one month of having them in my care as foster children, I knew I wanted to adopt them.  I knew it wouldn't be an easy road, but it was a road I knew I needed to take.  For them. 

I need to remind myself how they started in life.  I need to remind myself that they deserve all of my love and as much patience as I can give them. 

All children need love, patience, and guidance.  We need to strive to be better parents, better role models.  The children watch everything we do and repeat those patterns in adulthood.

What kind of behaviors are you modeling for your children?