I went into her office for the procedure. She said anesthesia wouldn't be necessary because the procedure wasn't painful. WRONG! It was the most excruciating and traumatizing event of my life. I cried during the entire procedure and for hours afterward. They spray a "numbing agent" on your cervix and then repeatedly stick a needle into your cervix with another "numbing agent." The problem is the spray doesn't work. And having a needle repeatedly inserted into my cervix was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I was sobbing and shaking all over. My husband was with me during the procedure and I think he was as baffled by what was happening as I was. Then they take a loop-shaped knife and shave off the cells (like a cheese slicer). Afterwards, they cauterize the tissue to prevent bleeding. The actual cutting and cauterizing doesn't hurt. It's the needle in the cervix that is the worst. To top it off, my doctor was acting like a real b#$ch. She kept telling me to lay still because I was shaking so badly. I couldn't. I was so traumatized by the excruciating pain at the beginning of the procedure that I couldn't even begin to keep my body from shaking. Then she burned my leg with the cauterization ball 3 times and tried to blame it on my moving. She was totally hateful to me and had absolutely no compassion. Needless to say, I never went back to her again. Fortunately, the pre-cancerous cells have never returned.
If your doctor tells you that you need a LEEP procedure, insist on doing it in a hospital or surgical center with anesthesia.
There really hasn't been any cancer in my family until my Dad was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in 2001. He had to go through plasma pheresis, chemotherapy, growth hormones, pneumonia, stem cell extraction, chemotherapy again, a stem cell transplant, a staph infection, shingles, and depression. The chemotherapy gave him Diabetes. The medications he took for his cancer caused severe nerve damage in his feet, legs, and hands. In most cases, Multiple Myeloma is not cured. Most people die within 4 years of their diagnosis. My Dad is one of the blessed people who is still alive with this cancer. Technically, he still has cancer, but he is in what the doctors call a "partial remission." Meaning, he still has cancer, but it isn't replicating or growing. He still has some health issues as a result of the cancer, but the cancer isn't an issue right now.
Cancer can either bring a family together or tear them apart. In our case, it did both. Initially, it brought us all closer. We were spending every moment together as a family that we could. We were so relieved when it seemed as though the stem cell transplant worked. My Dad's oncologist had put him on anti-depressants immediately following his cancer diagnosis. After a while, the pills weren't working properly anymore. He started having fits of rage over little things. My Mom suggested that maybe he needed a different type of medication. As is common with many people with depression or other mental illnesses, he decided the medication didn't work so there was no point taking it at all.
At that point he started on a downward spiral into depression. He turned into a completely different person. My Dad and I have always been close. He's always been involved in my sister and my lives. Even though my sister and I are married, he will still ask if we need money. He's always been quick to give hugs and tell you he loves you. We would talk almost every day. When the depression was in full force, I would go weeks without hearing from him and he lives four houses down from me. He wouldn't go to his therapist or psychiatrist. It got so bad that my Mom left him and moved in with me. It took almost four years for us to get him to go back to his psychiatrist and start taking medication again. I went with him on his first couple of visits just to make sure he was telling the doctor the truth about what was happening.
Eventually, he got better. My Mom moved back home. He's mostly back to his regular self again. I talk to him almost every day. He and my Mom have been such a blessing since I got my children. There have been many times that my Dad would babysit my sick kids so I could go to work.
I'm so thankful that my Dad is still here with me.
A few years ago I lost my maternal grandfather to colon cancer.
I also lost some former co-workers/friends to breast cancer.
I have a friend who is currently in remission from breast cancer.
Cancer Sucks!
Today is World Cancer Day. My prayers go out to the Survivors, the Fighters, and to the families of those we have lost due to Cancer.
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